Tel Aviv from other eyes

Many tourists come to Israel for a period of up to a year on behalf of programs of the Jewish Agency or other organizations, beyond academic studies and some also for work reasons. The interaction with these two groups is very interesting and can be at the same time part of the Tel Aviv experience. “I really thought I’d know a lot more Israelis. But it didn’t matter because I knew super interesting people.” Rachel says that when she arrived in Israel, she entered the apartment with eight other roommates in the Shapira neighborhood. This is an apartment where only tourists live, the turnover is quite high and people come right from all over the world. ‘The first time there was a new years eve dinner I celebrated with 12 people, each from somewhere else in the world and it was awesome. It’s definitely part of the Tel Aviv experience for me.” She received tips from the occupants of the house and guided the new ones when she was a veteran. They went out a lot together and introduced her to the city in all its details. With these guys she hung out most of the time, but most of them stayed for a period of only a few months, which begs the question, how much are you going to invest in a relationship like this that’s quite temporary? Since Rachel quickly caught an Israeli partner, most of her contacts with Israelis were through him and the rest of her friendships she found, as mentioned above, in the international community. In this sense, it remains in the comfortable and natural place that allows you to feel quite quickly at home and in partnership with many other people who share a similar life situation.

‘Of course it’s easier to hang out with guys from the international community. I’ve always tried to resist it, but it’s inevitable,” says Ben. Although his initial inclination was to try to hang out with locals to learn as much as possible and to really be part of the place, in the end he could not avoid being part of the international community that is so supportive of. “Of course, it’s easier for tourists to make connections with each other. After all, we’re in the same boat, having the same experiences. It’s only natural that it would be easier to hang out together and use each other.” However, Ben emphasizes that he also cares about his relationships with his Israeli friends, and in his eyes this is something that should not be given up when moving to a new place.

Barbara, 30, who arrived in Israel a year ago from Paris, also says that it was important for her to establish contacts with both Israelis and tourists when she arrived in Israel. At first she even tried to avoid associating specifically with the French in order to feel a different atmosphere from home, but over time nostalgia took its toll and she also created a French circle of friends for herself in Tel Aviv.

In addition to the warm and safe place that this vibrant international community allows, Rachel points out that it was best to consult with members of the international community on any matter, which Israelis did not necessarily know how to help. “It is precisely those who are in a situation just like you, who do not have an Israeli ID card, who need to go to the same departments in the Ministry of the Interior, and who struggle with the difficulties of language, who will be able to advise and help you sometimes much more.”

The most freaking out there is – bureaucracy, bureaucracy, bureaucracy

In the end, the things that most drive a person crazy are small matters like waiting for a customer service representative or other bureaucratic matters. Imagine the same thing only that all your word curators are “please” and “cool.”

“I couldn’t have imagined it would be so difficult to schedule a doctor’s appointment,” says Rachel as she describes the tedious process of summoning an appointment in English. Both Rachel and Barbara said that the wait for an English-speaking representative is much longer than a normal wait for a Hebrew-speaking representative. What happens in many cases is that the representative who received the call goes looking for an English speaking representative and finds him in about 40 minutes, or at the very least the conversation disconnects and then the story starts from the beginning. In many cases, even when you find an English speaking representative, his level is not good enough for the conversation to go smoothly. Also, the medical treatment system for tourists is different than for a citizen. This is done through one of the insurance companies and in many cases in times of stress, when you are really sick for example, it is easy to fall between the chairs due to misunderstandings or due to uncomfortable solutions such as waiting for a doctor’s visit (which arrives within a few hours).

Barbara: “One time, when I was really sick, I tried to make an appointment and they were only able to make an appointment for me a week ahead. At that time, I had to go to a private medical center and pay myself, in addition to what I pay for insurance every month.” Barbara explains that once you don’t have an Israeli ID, it makes it very difficult. “Every time I want to make a doctor’s appointment, the first thing you ask in the voicemail is what your social security number is. So starts a kind of loop like this that doesn’t end, I click on another digit because I don’t have an ID number and then a representative takes the call and asks what the ID number is. I’m usually evicted from place to place, from representative to representative. In many cases, just no one knows what to do. The only hope is to fall on a representative who will grow his head and find a solution.”

Ben says that in many situations, there is no choice but to trust the service representative or the sales representative. While today his Hebrew is already really good, still, when opening a bank account for example, he could not review the contract and understand it in detail. He realized that in this situation he had to trust the bank teller and hope for the best.

In such difficulties, everyone finds different ways of coping. “I try to avoid bureaucratic matters that I have to do,” says Ben, “so I put it off until there’s no choice anymore. I also prefer to do all the bureaucracy thing face-to-face rather than over the phone. On the phone, it’s harder for me to understand everything. People talk fast sometimes, words miss and I worry I don’t understand everything that’s being said. I prefer to speak Hebrew face-to-face, so that I can see the facial expressions of the person in front of me and he can see my facial expressions”.

With Barbara and Rachel, over time, the handling of the accounts and most matters of bureaucracy is done by the Israeli partner and spouse, in order to make things easier.

Hot blood, that’s what they say there’s in here.

When we talk about the Israeli character, we’ve heard everything. But really everything. Cheeky, direct on a delusional level, loud, cut in line and the list goes on. Is some of this you can get used to? Is it possible to perhaps enjoy the change?

“When I was relatively new here there were things that really shocked me,” says Ben, reminiscent of a situation, in which as he waited at a bus stop looking for the stations on the hanging map, a lady asked him to move so she could sit down. After he moved at her request, she examined him as he read, which she apparently thought was too long and told him: “What are you looking for there? Atlas? Ask the driver like everyone else!”” According to Ben, “It’s a repetitive example of people saying everything that goes through their heads. It was very foreign to me at first, sometimes there are still situations like this that catch me a little bit of a surprise but I’m much more used to it now.”

Ben, who came from London, talks about another phenomenon he has not yet been able to get used to. “Here in Israel it is common for you to invite yourself to places. I have relatives here. They don’t always invite me but they’re always happy to see me. They expect me to call when I get along and say, ‘Hey, can I jump?’. This is very unusual for me. It’s something to do with British culture. You don’t invite yourself to other people’s homes. You can offer to meet, but not at someone else’s house. British people are sociable but sociability stops at the doorstep. People don’t easily invite them home. It’s not mi casa es tu casa”.

Barbara, who works as a saleswoman at a deli and café in Neve Tzedek, encountered a phenomenon where there is not really an orderly queue, even as a seller. When she’s in the middle of taking care of the client, more people come and ask her questions as she goes. At first she felt bad about it, until she realized language was quite acceptable and it wasn’t too bothersome anyone if someone just asked a question in the middle. “For me it was very strange at first, the fact that it was legitimate to serve several people at the same time,” he said.

Rachel quickly realized that meeting the times is not something that goes on here. The first time she came to dinner with her partner’s family, they arranged to meet at about 6:00 P.M. and she, as a good American, showed up at exactly 6:00 P.M. At the door, her partner’s father stood and began a duet of bad English and bad Hebrew. Soon the nurse saved the situation and made it clear that the guy was asleep and they didn’t even know she was coming at this hour. Rachel later realized that the intention was to meet around 6:00 P.M., which meant arriving in the area at 7:00 P.M., and they didn’t sit down to eat until 8:00 P.M. ‘It was a serious understanding that things don’t happen here just as they say it’s going to happen. Accuracy is not the strong suit of Israelis. But after I got used to it, it changed my life for the better. Today, when I meet in the city with friends, whether they are Israelis or tourists, we naturally meet 15-30 minutes late. It’s a real relief, I don’t like to rush and be under pressure to be just in time and because everyone around like that is really liberating.’

Both Rachel and Barbara noted that despite the directness and audacity of the Israelis, they are very warm and usually happy to help. And even if they’re not very happy, they’ll still help with what’s possible. Barbara says she was often offered help long before she asked, just because she seemed lost. For Rachel, it was interesting to see how even in case the person is clearly unavailable at the moment, he will still do everything in his power to make sure she gets an answer or gets to where she needs to go. Other phrases that Rachel learned very quickly to love are the nicknames of affection that are unanimously spoken to each other with very minimal familiarity, among them “atonement”, “babe” and the like.

In Tel Aviv, he behaved like a Tel Avivian.

So after enough time in Tel Aviv, no one stays exactly as they were. Everyone said things had changed for them according to what the place dictates. As Rachel shared, she’s no longer chronically punctual because people here don’t really make it on time. But if that sounds like a deterioration or a thing of the sort, for her it’s a huge issue that really upgraded her quality of life. “Here I don’t feel pressure in any way. People are less taking themselves seriously and they’re less judgmental than people in the U.S. For example, if I was a few minutes late to see someone in the U.S., it would be considered rude and he could be really offended. Here if you’re late, you won’t take it personally and you won’t conclude that you’re not being respected.” According to her, since people here do not take such things seriously or personally, it really reassured her and made her feel more free.

In addition, Rachel shares an important moment that gave her a kind of confirmation that she had assimilated into society in a sense. “It was on a taxi ride in Jerusalem and it was clear to me that the driver was trying to charge us a very expensive price. I guess he was trying to drive a price because we spoke English. I totally washed it, yelled at it for the price.” She doesn’t remember how this incident ended, but still, for her, it’s a kind of little pride story that shows her that she already knows what’s okay and what’s not, and that she feels confident enough to stand up for herself.

Ben testifies to himself “I didn’t become an aggressive person, but I’m more of a ‘doggy’. Reaches the target without wasting time. That’s the way they operate here. Of course, the Israelis see me as more English than the English, but I feel the difference about myself. Even when I walk down the street, I sometimes push people a little bit and I don’t say sorry all the time, I got a little tougher.”

For Barbara, there was a significant change. Today, she sees herself as much less shy. ‘Cause the people here are cheeky sometimes, I feel like I need to express myself more. Today I’m more confident, I know more about what I want and I know how to ask for it. For example, in a workplace, I felt comfortable asking for a raise even though I hadn’t worked there in a long time, which I wouldn’t do in France.”

In summary
In vibrant Tel Aviv there are not only Israelis who have been swimming here for years, there are also traveling guests who come from all kinds of corners of the world. Here they meet each other, with Israelis, with Tel Avivians, with new habits, norms and customs. They slowly learn the language and the rules, change, have experiences, let’s hope that most of them are positive or at least teach and intriguing. Everyone testified to themselves that they had changed, acclimatized to some extent, each in his own way. It is quite possible to say that the place and culture have already been somewhat made part of them.

It’s fun to see how with patience and a willingness to take a few steps, you can create a new life for yourself from scratch. The transition, with all its challenge and frustrations, allows for a rare opportunity to learn a lot about the place, about the culture and learn a lot about oneself. Understand what you like about the new place and what things you take from your home. When we talk specifically about Tel Aviv, I can only hope that its special charm will keep the movers for a long time or at least leave them with many sweet memories.

Written by Sharon Steiner, Director of Content and Marketing, Journey Plan – Personal Track